Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Saturday, January 15, 2011

How Do You Measure Your Happiness?

This has been on my mine a lot lately.  How do you measure your happiness?  Do you measure it by the material things you have?  By the amount of money you have in the bank?  Or do you measure it by the number of friends you have? 

Do you truly know if you are happy?  If you are happy, what is it that makes you happy?  Is it knowing that you are safe and secure?  Is it knowing that no matter what your spouse will love you?  When was the last time you were truly happy and laughed all the time or had a smile on your face all the time? 

I would love to see your answers or your thoughts on the subject.  I will answer those questions myself in a blog to come.  As I said, I have been contemplating these questions myself lately. 

Later,
Love, L

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Priorities In Life

Okay after a long talk with God this morning, I've realized that I need to get my priorities straight.  Playing games on Face book, playing solitaire, or doing things that are not productive should not be on that list.  So after a lot of thinking and realizing that money for the next two weeks is going to be very, very tight, I've decided to re-organize things and get a plan together and in place.  Of course, I need God to be at the top of that list, and He is. 

So here are the things I'm trying to accomplish with God at the helm over the next six to seven months.

1.  A closer walk with Jesus and He being first in my life.
2.  An income from my freelance writing and my website to sustain us when Norman doesn't have any work.
3.  To start school.  I had some very unrealistic goals this last week concerning this, so if i don't get enrolled to start by January one, then I'm not going to freak out.
4.  A place to live where, the electricity bill and utilities are not more than the rent.  A place to live where we are not overrun by critters so to speak.  A place to live where the floors don't give when you walk.  A place to live that I can invite my family to spend the night.  A place to live where if I decide to keep kids or provide childcare, I have room.
5.  To plan and pay for our vow renewal ceremony, just the way we want it.

These are currently my priorities.  I have other priorities but these take precedence currently.  Number one will always be a priority no matter what else I have completed or accomplished.  God, husband, work, family, and friends.  Those are the way it is for now. 

May you truly have a blessed and God Filled Day.  love, L

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Amazed

Sometimes I look at my life and I'm amazed and what it turned out like.... I have a wonderful husband, a super daughter, wonderful step children, and a family both by blood and by marriage that I love.  As we are growing up, we all have dreams of getting married, having a family, a house, and much, much more but as young girls and boys, you don't really understand what all that encompasses.  You don't think about the in laws that you get when you get married, or the additional sisters and brothers or if you marry someone that was or has been married before, you get step-children, and in some cases, step-grandchildren. 

Although my relationship with my step children is not anything like I had hoped, I am hoping that God will help us to heal the hurts and have a better relationship this year and the years to come.  My husband and I would both like to be a part of their lives.  I've been praying for healing in those relationships and maybe, hoping it will happen soon only God knows. 

Sometimes, it is very hard stepping in to a family where children are grown and have lives of their own.  For me, it was my first marriage and I guess I really expected more, and it didn't quite turn out that way, probably my fault but I am willing to fix the issues.  Some times our imaginations take over and then when things don't happen quite like we think, we get a little disappointed and I think that applies to both my husband and myself.

I know that God will help us heal any hurts that we may have caused with family.  I'm hoping that family will allow us to make those amends and have a relationship in the future.  God has done wonderful things in our lives over the last year and half.  I'm looking forward to what He has in store for us in the future, but right now I'm happy living one day at a time, doing His will, in His service, where ever that maybe doing whatever He wants us to do.  Have a God Filled Day!  May you be blessed Abundantly in all things you seek, when you seek His face, His guidance, His will and His wisdom.  Love, L.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Some Time Ago

Tomorrow is July 24th, and 59 years ago tomorrow, God created one of the best presents I ever received.  What might you ask?  My husband.  We know that God sent us each other and had it planned way before we knew it. 

He is a very sweet, loving, and happy person, and he works very hard to take care of me.  I love him with all my heart, body and soul.  We are growing as Christians and as husband and wife.  I waited a long time for the right person to come along, and I prayed on April 19th, 2001, for God to send me a husband and a father for my daughter.  I asked for a Christian man that would be kind and loving and accepted us just the way we were, and he did.  We love each other unconditionally, and love doing things for each other.  There are some days he comes home from working out in the Texas heat and stands at the grill to cook dinner.  I try to do special things for him, like take him coffee in bed every once and a while.  We worked together for awhile and I loved it!  Thank you for all you do for me, for making me feel safe, secure and loved.

I wish you a very happy birthday!  I love you and I hope we have 50 more years together. 

Happy Birthday Honey!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Never Give Up

I was born in 1962 and as I grew up I never once thought I wouldn’t get married. As a child I had a weight problem, and it never really went away nor has it gone away today. I graduated from high school, and got a job. I went to a vocational school and took a job in Abilene, Texas. It was awesome! I turned 21 years old out there and although, I didn’t weigh any more than I do now, I felt like I was obese. I developed an eating disorder of sorts. It’s not something I’m proud of and I probably should have gotten professional help when I returned home to the Dallas area. I didn’t… and I’m not sure anyone even realized that it was an eating disorder. I mean everyone knew what anorexia was then, but it wasn’t something you talked about and I wasn’t anorexic. I starved myself, but I didn’t make myself throw up, not then anyway. I might have eaten one meal a day but most of the time I drank Coca Cola. I can truthfully say I’m a Coke addict, but it’s legal.

As time went by, I made friends and when we weren’t working, we were out drinking. It was also during this time, that I had female health issues and at one point was pretty much told I would not be able to have a child. Now they didn’t say I couldn’t get pregnant, just that I would not be able to have a child. That is another story in itself. Let’s just suffice it to say that I have a 24 year old daughter and God does work miracles.

Time to fast forward by the time I hit 35, I had been in several relationships, but nothing that felt right but something did happen that changed my life. I was obese by this time. My body fat was over 51%, I weighed in excess of 300 lbs and I couldn’t get in the floor and get up by myself. I made a decision that I have to live with for the rest of my life and that is okay, but it is in danger of being totally messed up. Again, that is another story or another chapter. In 2004, my insurance company agreed to pay for a gastric bypass. I found a hospital and we went through all the preliminary requirements and on October 23, 2003, I got a new stomach and a new beginning. As of today, I’ve lost 140 pounds because of this life changing surgery and I have no regrets. It gave me confidence, and a new attitude and I no longer thought of myself as overweight or ugly. Still I was unable to find the right person to spend the rest of my life with. I joined dating services, met people through friends, but nothing seemed to be right.

By now I’m over the 40 year mark I had pretty much given up hope of meeting the right person, so I thought I had to settle for something less than what I deserve. I met a man 25+ years my senior. We seemed to hit it off and being the trusting person I was, I became involved. I even went as far as to fly to Chino Valley, AZ and bring him and his mother back. Have you ever had that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you just need to turn around and walk away? I should have gotten right back on a plane and flown back to Texas. But what if this was my only chance to be married? Maybe I was just tired and what I was feeling was wrong? Always listen to your gut feeling or intuition or whatever you want to call it. He was a parasite. He did give me an engagement ring on Valentine’s Day in 2005. I promptly gave it back to him and told him to move a week before my birthday. I continued to lose weight from the surgery, but developed a binge purge kind of thing. The first sign of feeling too full and I would make myself go throw up. (This is not a good thing). Okay so let’s skip a little. I joined match.com but couldn’t break not seeing the parasite. I tried everything and then eventually, I told him, that it was killing me and that I couldn’t live sneaking around behind my family to see him. I knew it wasn’t right anyway, but I didn’t want to be alone. Okay so back to match.com. Up until July of 2005, when I was still seeing the parasite, I had gone out on a few dates, nothing serious. The only that happened with anyone serious during this time, was a wonderful man named Wayne, who I happened to be relocating for his company. We had wonderful conversations and had two majorly enjoyable dates. It was not meant to be though.

Okay In July of 2005, I went to Shreveport with a friend gambling one night, and on the way home, I actually had to let her drive. I couldn’t stay awake. It was the next few days that I got sick. I lost 12 pounds in two days, and almost passed out. I continually threw up. I had to go to the emergency room, but no one, not even, my doctor figured out what was wrong. A friend of mine finally suggested that it sounded like Mono. So I asked my doctor to test me and sure enough it was mono. Needless to say, the parasite gave it to me, but swears he didn’t have it. I had to contract it from somewhere. My doctor said that my case was severe enough that it had to be contracted. It took awhile and I actually wound up in the emergency room a second time from dehydration, before I began to bounce back. My membership with match.com was getting close to expiring and I had decided to cancel it at the end of the month. It was November now and winter was approaching and I would be alone during the holidays once again.

What happened next should never have happened. I kept asking God to send me someone. I actually asked him in April of 2001 for a husband and just so you know God does answer prayers but in His time, not ours. So let me get to the rest of the story. On November the 3rd of 2005, I received an email from match.com from a person who went by East Texas Hillbilly; however it came directly to my personal email with EarthLink. You see there is a built in security with email, that if I don’t know the person I have to approve them as an email address. They actually have to send a message to ask to email me. For some strange reason, he got the email from EarthLink and it actually displayed my email address and so he was able to bypass the security. It should never have happened, but I’m glad it did. We started exchanging emails and it was days of constant emails before I would even give him my phone number. He has this wonderful deep voice and all I could do was smile into the phone. I finally agreed to meet him in the afternoon on November 13th at a restaurant called Two Senoritas for coffee or tea or whatever. It’s funny, when I first saw him, I thought or he is not really my type, this will never work, but before our date was over, I was caught. He had already made me feel like the most important person in his world and he was fast becoming the most important person in mine. We seemed to know without a doubt that God had brought us together. The more we talked the more we discovered that we had been playing around in each other’s back yards for years and just didn’t know it.

It just seemed to be right when we were shopping in Wal-Mart one day to buy a set of wedding rings. He hadn’t proposed yet and although we talked about it jokingly, we hadn’t taken that step. We headed home and we stopped at his house to get a few things. This is December 19th 2005. We were all in the house, because my daughter was with us and she and I were playing around with the pool table. She headed towards the bathroom and suddenly, Norman was in front of me on both knees asking me to marry him. I started crying. Why? I mean we had just bought rings, but I hadn’t noticed that he had brought them in with him. My daughter witnessed the whole thing and of course I said yes…. Duh!!! It doesn’t take a sledge hammer for me to realize that God sent him to me.

We were married on March 31st of 2006 and it is hard to believe even today that I am married. God knew when the time was right and sent me the person I needed and sent me to the man who needed me. Yes we have had our problems, mostly because of work related issues and family, but I would never leave him. He was my gift from God and I thank Him every day for my husband.
So I guess my message to all those out there that might read this, never give up hope that God will send the right man to you. He will. It will just be on His time, now yours. Never lose hope or stop dreaming…God Bless.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Just Life

Okay, I turned 48 on Monday and today, we are celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary. Life is good. We have a good church home, a place to live, food to eat, and currently we have work. Life is good, but God is Great!

I've had a sinus infection and ear infection since Saturday, and I'm finally feeling better. God is Awesome! My husband and I are planning on singing at church. We've picked out 4 songs and have been listening to all of them. The members at church, (by the way we go to Emory Baptist Church www.emorybaptist.org ) have been trying to get my husband, Norman, to join the choir. He does have a wonderful voice and sings harmony quite well. I'm still a little frightened about singing, but only because without someone to sing along with me, I can't keep the tune, unless it is in a bucket.

We will probably be moving in the next couple of months. We are praying that God will allow us to move back to my house in the orchard. I just want things to be simple again. I think they are on the way, and I'm praying that God will continue to show us signs that we are headed the right way.

Be Blessed! God is Awesome!

Love to all,
L

Thursday, March 25, 2010

25 Random Things You Might Not Know

Okay I have a friend who is having issues with her creative juices today and she did a random post of 25 things and wanted it to continue... So here are mine..

1. At my highest weight, I weigh 322 pounds.

2. I am a clean drug addict...

3. I am trying to quit drinking.

4. I had a child out of wedlock

5. I'm tired of worrying what other people think

6. I like romance novels

7. I love vampires

8. I don't like Barney or Sponge Bob and I don't have kids little enough to watch them, but my grown kids watch cartoons. (I don't think they watch Barney)

9. I pray for my daughter and son to have a baby

10. I met my husband on match.com

11. I have two tattoos and I'm not ashamed of them, and want to add to one I already have.

12. I accepted Christ at the age of 12.

13. I've walked away several times from church

14. I want to live some place warm

15. I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and lately it is causing me to have Anxiety attacks.

16. I want a berm house with a deck and grill patio/swimming pool on the topside.

17. I want to have more dogs

18. I always want my husband to be in love with me, and me with him.

19. I have anger issues with slow people. (Not mentally slow)

20. I started a new internet business and pray for success. As part of that, I'm making home made dog treats, all natural and selling them locally.

21. I've had 9 surgeries since I was 7 or 8, and plan one more before all is said and done.

22. I want to be more spiritually than I am, but don't think I'll ever get there.

23. God loves me and I love him, and nothing else should matter. Right?

24. Debt is eating us alive.

25. I want to swim with sharks off the great barrier reef.

Okay not sure that is what she intended, but there are my 25 random facts. If you have a blog, list your 25 random facts and let me know so I can go read.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Corrupted

I have never been a pro football fan. I never ever watched it on TV unless it was the only TV in the house and that was what was on, and I had no say in the matter. One of the things that I love about my husband is that he is not a “big” sports fan. However, I think I want a definition of what exactly a “big” sports fan is. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there are a few things that are sports events that I like to watch. For example, bull riding, barrel racing and bronc riding are extremely exciting to me, as is Hockey. But when it comes to baseball, basketball, golf or tennis, none of those including football ever held my interest.

I’ve been married for almost 4 years now. I have never followed football and for the most part I could not tell you the quarterbacks name on any football team. However, I’m not really sure how this has happened, but I can now tell you more about football than I really want to know. I mean, Drees is the quarterback for the Saints, Favre for the Vikings, Romo for the Cowboys, Payton Manning for the Colts, and I’m sure I know more, but that is enough. My friends would probably laugh and probably will when they read this post. So what happened to me?
I married a man you channel surfs and watches two or three football games at a time. He has even got me watching basketball. I really find this humorous… I didn’t know a 1st down from any other play, and now I actually get excited to see if they are going to make 1st down or in some cases 4th and inches….

After the Saints played the Vikings yesterday, he asked me if my team won. My team? I don’t have a team, or do I? I’m sure there are other women out there that this has happened to in the past and will be others that it will happen to in the future… but I never thought it would happen to me.