Never Give Up

I was born in 1962 and as I grew up I never once thought I wouldn’t get married. As a child I had a weight problem, and it never really went away nor has it gone away today. I graduated from high school, and got a job. I went to a vocational school and took a job in Abilene, Texas. It was awesome! I turned 21 years old out there and although, I didn’t weigh any more than I do now, I felt like I was obese. I developed an eating disorder of sorts. It’s not something I’m proud of and I probably should have gotten professional help when I returned home to the Dallas area. I didn’t… and I’m not sure anyone even realized that it was an eating disorder. I mean everyone knew what anorexia was then, but it wasn’t something you talked about and I wasn’t anorexic. I starved myself, but I didn’t make myself throw up, not then anyway. I might have eaten one meal a day but most of the time I drank Coca Cola. I can truthfully say I’m a Coke addict, but it’s legal.

As time went by, I made friends and when we weren’t working, we were out drinking. It was also during this time, that I had female health issues and at one point was pretty much told I would not be able to have a child. Now they didn’t say I couldn’t get pregnant, just that I would not be able to have a child. That is another story in itself. Let’s just suffice it to say that I have a 24 year old daughter and God does work miracles.

Time to fast forward by the time I hit 35, I had been in several relationships, but nothing that felt right but something did happen that changed my life. I was obese by this time. My body fat was over 51%, I weighed in excess of 300 lbs and I couldn’t get in the floor and get up by myself. I made a decision that I have to live with for the rest of my life and that is okay, but it is in danger of being totally messed up. Again, that is another story or another chapter. In 2004, my insurance company agreed to pay for a gastric bypass. I found a hospital and we went through all the preliminary requirements and on October 23, 2003, I got a new stomach and a new beginning. As of today, I’ve lost 140 pounds because of this life changing surgery and I have no regrets. It gave me confidence, and a new attitude and I no longer thought of myself as overweight or ugly. Still I was unable to find the right person to spend the rest of my life with. I joined dating services, met people through friends, but nothing seemed to be right.

By now I’m over the 40 year mark I had pretty much given up hope of meeting the right person, so I thought I had to settle for something less than what I deserve. I met a man 25+ years my senior. We seemed to hit it off and being the trusting person I was, I became involved. I even went as far as to fly to Chino Valley, AZ and bring him and his mother back. Have you ever had that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you just need to turn around and walk away? I should have gotten right back on a plane and flown back to Texas. But what if this was my only chance to be married? Maybe I was just tired and what I was feeling was wrong? Always listen to your gut feeling or intuition or whatever you want to call it. He was a parasite. He did give me an engagement ring on Valentine’s Day in 2005. I promptly gave it back to him and told him to move a week before my birthday. I continued to lose weight from the surgery, but developed a binge purge kind of thing. The first sign of feeling too full and I would make myself go throw up. (This is not a good thing). Okay so let’s skip a little. I joined match.com but couldn’t break not seeing the parasite. I tried everything and then eventually, I told him, that it was killing me and that I couldn’t live sneaking around behind my family to see him. I knew it wasn’t right anyway, but I didn’t want to be alone. Okay so back to match.com. Up until July of 2005, when I was still seeing the parasite, I had gone out on a few dates, nothing serious. The only that happened with anyone serious during this time, was a wonderful man named Wayne, who I happened to be relocating for his company. We had wonderful conversations and had two majorly enjoyable dates. It was not meant to be though.

Okay In July of 2005, I went to Shreveport with a friend gambling one night, and on the way home, I actually had to let her drive. I couldn’t stay awake. It was the next few days that I got sick. I lost 12 pounds in two days, and almost passed out. I continually threw up. I had to go to the emergency room, but no one, not even, my doctor figured out what was wrong. A friend of mine finally suggested that it sounded like Mono. So I asked my doctor to test me and sure enough it was mono. Needless to say, the parasite gave it to me, but swears he didn’t have it. I had to contract it from somewhere. My doctor said that my case was severe enough that it had to be contracted. It took awhile and I actually wound up in the emergency room a second time from dehydration, before I began to bounce back. My membership with match.com was getting close to expiring and I had decided to cancel it at the end of the month. It was November now and winter was approaching and I would be alone during the holidays once again.

What happened next should never have happened. I kept asking God to send me someone. I actually asked him in April of 2001 for a husband and just so you know God does answer prayers but in His time, not ours. So let me get to the rest of the story. On November the 3rd of 2005, I received an email from match.com from a person who went by East Texas Hillbilly; however it came directly to my personal email with EarthLink. You see there is a built in security with email, that if I don’t know the person I have to approve them as an email address. They actually have to send a message to ask to email me. For some strange reason, he got the email from EarthLink and it actually displayed my email address and so he was able to bypass the security. It should never have happened, but I’m glad it did. We started exchanging emails and it was days of constant emails before I would even give him my phone number. He has this wonderful deep voice and all I could do was smile into the phone. I finally agreed to meet him in the afternoon on November 13th at a restaurant called Two Senoritas for coffee or tea or whatever. It’s funny, when I first saw him, I thought or he is not really my type, this will never work, but before our date was over, I was caught. He had already made me feel like the most important person in his world and he was fast becoming the most important person in mine. We seemed to know without a doubt that God had brought us together. The more we talked the more we discovered that we had been playing around in each other’s back yards for years and just didn’t know it.

It just seemed to be right when we were shopping in Wal-Mart one day to buy a set of wedding rings. He hadn’t proposed yet and although we talked about it jokingly, we hadn’t taken that step. We headed home and we stopped at his house to get a few things. This is December 19th 2005. We were all in the house, because my daughter was with us and she and I were playing around with the pool table. She headed towards the bathroom and suddenly, Norman was in front of me on both knees asking me to marry him. I started crying. Why? I mean we had just bought rings, but I hadn’t noticed that he had brought them in with him. My daughter witnessed the whole thing and of course I said yes…. Duh!!! It doesn’t take a sledge hammer for me to realize that God sent him to me.

We were married on March 31st of 2006 and it is hard to believe even today that I am married. God knew when the time was right and sent me the person I needed and sent me to the man who needed me. Yes we have had our problems, mostly because of work related issues and family, but I would never leave him. He was my gift from God and I thank Him every day for my husband.
So I guess my message to all those out there that might read this, never give up hope that God will send the right man to you. He will. It will just be on His time, now yours. Never lose hope or stop dreaming…God Bless.