Five Years and Counting

It has been awhile since I've written on my blogs, not because I didn't have anything to say, but because life has been so busy.  Most of you have read where I had planned to return to school and I did as a part time student.  I absolutely love it!  I'm considering full time this semester, however, the fear factor is there that I won't be able to handle four classes.  This I know though, God will see me through.  I had a math class for the first 7.5 weeks of this semester and I was able to finish it in 14 days, and I'm pretty sure I have an A in the class.  I'm still participating in the discussions and I'm reviewing math so I can stay up on the practices I've learned. 

In this last week, I celebrated my 49th birthday and my 5th wedding anniversary.  We didn't do anything really spectacular and for our anniversary, I got contacts and he got new glasses.  My eyes don't focus together so I'm actually only wearing one contact lens.  I go back on the 12th to figure out if this is going to work, or what kind of compromise I will have to make in order to see. 

We are still planning on renewing our vows on the 12th of November. We aren't planning on anything fancy and we still haven't decided on whether or not we want to write our vows or just have them redone.  It is a work in progress. 

My daughter and I have been spending more time together and it means the world to me.  I love that we live this close to each other.  I know that she wants to move from Emory, and I know that we will follow to be pretty close to where ever it is that they wind up.  So in the meantime, we have devised a new budget, and we are going to start putting some money back into the savings as much as possible.  We have two more big items before we can save a lot, like dental appointments, and computers, but we will get there. 

How has life been for you in the last two weeks?  Anything exciting going on in your life?  Please leave a comment. 

Love, L

A Destructive Streak

If you read my blogs, I shared about my eating disorder and some of my trigger foods.  Because of the gastric bypass sugar is a no no, carbonation is suppose to be a no no, drinking through a straw is also one of those things I'm not suppose to do.  Also since the surgery, I have developed a few things that I am allergic to like chocolate, milk, ranch dressing in large quantities, queso, and I have problems with digesting lettuce. 

So there are times when I know what I am eating is going to make me sick.  So why do I do it?  I usually reason it out with this statement, "I haven't had it in a long time and I need it."  It is true to a point.  Sometimes I just want the taste again.  I love salads.  I like to eat cereal.  Yesterday I made brownies and I've eaten them twice. 

I know emotions effect this a lot, so I try to figure out what exactly it is that drives me to do this.  I'm not lonely.  I have a wonderful marriage.  We have financial difficulties, but then who doesn't these days.  I think a big problem I have right now is trying to figure out what, where and when.  Finding a job is stressing the situation as well.  I want to go back to school, but they are requiring pre-algebra and I'm sure it is necessary, but I would like to start working towards my degree as well.  Maybe teaching is not the degree I need to go after?  I just not sure.  So I think really that is the issue.  I want to use the things I love to make a living, but then I think about that in the long run and wonder how long will the world need an animal trainer or dog trainer, and does any one still read books, fiction.? 

I know that I need to start journaling again.  I haven't in almost two months at least not on a consistent basis and maybe that will help me.  I talk to God constantly and know that He is there providing for me and my needs.

Have a God Filled Day!
Love, L

How Do You Measure Your Happiness?

This has been on my mine a lot lately.  How do you measure your happiness?  Do you measure it by the material things you have?  By the amount of money you have in the bank?  Or do you measure it by the number of friends you have? 

Do you truly know if you are happy?  If you are happy, what is it that makes you happy?  Is it knowing that you are safe and secure?  Is it knowing that no matter what your spouse will love you?  When was the last time you were truly happy and laughed all the time or had a smile on your face all the time? 

I would love to see your answers or your thoughts on the subject.  I will answer those questions myself in a blog to come.  As I said, I have been contemplating these questions myself lately. 

Later,
Love, L

Today 12-30-10 Thursday

Okay so I couldn't come up with a title for this blog entry so the above will just have to do.  I've had my blogs open several times today and although I have a lot on my mind, the peace inside me is great, but I couldn't decide what to write. 

I have been thinking back about all the things that have happened this year and still can't quite get my head around some of it.  As I look towards the new year, I know several things I would like to accomplish.  A reader suggested I step out in faith and commit myself to God and He will fulfill my hearts desires and care for me.  I know this is true... but I have been thinking about that ever since I read it.  My hearts desires? 
Do I truly know what those are?  I'm not sure.  I've been doing a lot of research in the bible, talking to my pastor, an evangelist, and the pastor husband of one of my blogging friends.  Two have answered an email I sent and I am waiting for the response from the other, but I am pretty positive, that I will receive the same answer from Pastor Josh as I have from the others.  What am I going to do with the information?  Nothing.  It confirms my beliefs as a Baptist.  I am a Baptist because the doctrine of the Baptist follows closely to the New Testament Church it talks about in the Trail of Blood.  I am secure in what I believe.  Everyone is entitled to believe however they choose.  If you are a child of God, you believe that Jesus Christ was born of a virgin under the law, died for our sins and rose 3 days later and now sits on the right hand of the father.  I await His return with open arms and a heart full of love and the desire to do what He wants of me. 

There are many things I want to do, but most of all I just want to live one day at a time, worship God, teach others and live happily with my husband Norman.  I am going to sit and think about my heart's desires and I am going to right them down.  My husband and I have been discussing doing something to help churches and missions in the state of Texas to help others reach those that are lost.  I know that God will point us in the right direction.

Now for the human side of me, the mortal that I am, I realized this morning that I need to lose at least 30 pounds.  I gained 10 pounds when I met my husband and I was 10 pounds away from my goal weight.  I have gain another 10 pounds in the 5 years we have been together.  So one of my goals for this year and I mean the beginning of this year is to lose all that.  I would like to have that done prior to our Vow renewal ceremony on 4/2/11. 

I guess that is it for now.  May God Bless you all!  Thanks for reading and why not subscribe to one of my blogs.... I try to share the human side of me, the dog lover in me, the Christian me, and the writer me.  I think you will probably find something you like in one of them. 

Good night!