A Special Friend

I have many female friends that I talk to every now and then.  I have a couple that I stay in close contact with and even though we might not talk on the phone for weeks, or months, it is always like we just saw each other  and have great conversations. 

One of my friends, whom I have known for many years now, sent me an email today and it was just what I needed.  She is a very sweet, special lady, and always has a kind word and is ready to pray for me or anyone else whenever it is needed.

We are not of the same religious beliefs but that has never been a problem for us.  We talk about our religion and I try to understand hers, and she understands mine.  I'm never afraid to talk to her about Jesus or God. 

We worked together for years and she has always been there in time of family emergencies like when my grandfather was in and out of the hospital and passed away, when my grandmother died, and she was that at my dad's memorial service after he passed away. 

She came to my wedding shower, and my wedding and it meant a great deal to me.  She is someone I have lots of memories of and with, and we both shared a special place for Mexican food when we worked in Las Colinas.

So This is a special blog for my very special friend, "Betty Cookie Kabakoff".

Thanks! 
Love ya,
Laura

A Driving Need

I am looking forward to the things that are in store for us next year.  I'm looking forward to a house in a new town, making new friends, and just living our life together.  I'm looking forward to having grandchildren.  I'm looking forward to having beagles again.  However, with everything I'm looking forward to I have a driving need to complete unfinished things and get rid of it before we move. 

What things you might ask?  Well I have at least 5 story lines at different levels that I want to finish.  I have three books, a short story, and a collection of thoughts that I would like to see get typed and finished and hopefully published.  I have several craft things that I would like to get finished and put away and in some cases give away to friends. 

I am also taking intro to algebra which I would like to get finished in January and I want to start pre-calculus and get it finished in no more than three months.  If I am able to get that accomplished, then I can enroll in school and start getting my teaching degree. 

It sounds like a lot, but I do know that I can get this accomplished.  I just have to stay focused and rely on God to give me the energy and strength to get this all done.  I like having things completed and put away.  I like it when we are able to close a chapter, and start a new one and that is what I feel like we are doing.  Closing the old chapter.  Starting the new chapter.  I know it will be difficult for us, but those that are close to us are already talking about coming to visit.  We will have room for a guest or two in the new house.  Everyone will be welcome that wants to come visit.  We will still make the trips for family reunions and Christmas Day with his family.  The rest of the year will be in God's hands and so will our lives. 

God Bless you all!  Love, L

Realization

I've been thinking about this for awhile. I exchange my old cell phone and service carrier for one on my husband plan with a full keyboard. It seemed that I used text messaging more than the phone service. So at the beginning of July, I got a whole new set up. I sent the new number to my friends and family, expecting life to be the same. It has occurred to me recently, that I don't need a cell phone. I work with my husband now, so we don't even use ours to call each other and now that there is unlimited text messaging on his phone plan, we don't use that feature either. I receive no calls from my family or friends except my daughter and occasionally my son in law, but no one else. So what changed? Did I just tick everyone off? Did I say something else that I should have kept to myself? Or have all my friends gone away? I'm not sure the reason, but I feel very alone. I have my husband and my daughter, but it doesn't seem like there is anyone else in my life. I'm on facebook and I have little conversations there, but it is really just another addiction I have to play games. Anyone have any ideas? May God Bless you all. L

Hate - A very strong emotion

We fight the battle of good vs evil everyday. Some days we win and some days we lose. God is always there with us helping us to fight those battles and we walk away with scars that run very deep some times. I'm not talking evil as in villians, monsters, crooks, robbers and such. I'm talking about the battle within ourselves to do good instead of bad, to think good instead of bad, to love everyone and not have bad feelings towards others. Hate is a word I associate with bad or evil. I don't hate anyone, I don't love everyone like I should, like the bible dictates. I have a strong dislike for some people and it usually comes back to how I was treated by them or something that was done. I always try to forgive and forget. The forgiving part is not as hard as it used to be, but sometimes the forgetting part of what happened lingers endlessly. It's kind of like that darkness that sometimes tries to steal me from the world. I fear that one day the darkness will win and swallow me and I will cease to exist. Sometimes people cause you to have negative thoughts or cause emotions like hatred and anger to over take your thoughts, body and soul. I try to go to God when that starts to happen and sometimes, I just cry. Hate is something I have more towards myself than anyone else. I hate that I let myself get caught up in what other people think of me, my life. I hate the guilt I feel towards things that have happened in the past even though I've asked for God forgiveness, the forgetting doesn't stop. I hate that I let these thoughts and feelings sometimes take over my life. I hate that I don't trust people no matter what. I hate that I feel like I've let people down or failed them for one reason or another. I hate that I have let life harden my heart. I hate that I let my past interfere in my present and sometimes dictate the course of my future. I hate that I have no close friends and I hate that I let my anger and fear run them off. God will or has forgiven me, I just can't forgive myself or let the emotions go. May God bless you all. Love, L

How Do You Live In The Present Without Worrying About the Future

Does anyone have the answer to the above question? I no longer worry about the past. It doesn't matter and I can't change it now. I've made people mad, ticked them off, and ruined friendships because I speak my mind. Which is not a bad thing to speak your mind, but I guess you have to learn to do so tactfully, and I've been told many times, I lack that skill. But seriously, how do you live in the present and not worry or think about the future and how the decisions you make today are going to affect your future? I've been pondering this a lot lately. I sometimes visit a really dark place when I do, but I'm fighting to stay away from there. I know that I am not alone, and that God is here with me and is protecting me, and guiding me...but I crave His attention. I want as my sister says, "A burning bush" to tell me what I should be doing.... God Please just help me with the decisions that have to be made and what and where I should be.. L