If you read my blogs, I shared about my eating disorder and some of my trigger foods. Because of the gastric bypass sugar is a no no, carbonation is suppose to be a no no, drinking through a straw is also one of those things I'm not suppose to do. Also since the surgery, I have developed a few things that I am allergic to like chocolate, milk, ranch dressing in large quantities, queso, and I have problems with digesting lettuce.
So there are times when I know what I am eating is going to make me sick. So why do I do it? I usually reason it out with this statement, "I haven't had it in a long time and I need it." It is true to a point. Sometimes I just want the taste again. I love salads. I like to eat cereal. Yesterday I made brownies and I've eaten them twice.
I know emotions effect this a lot, so I try to figure out what exactly it is that drives me to do this. I'm not lonely. I have a wonderful marriage. We have financial difficulties, but then who doesn't these days. I think a big problem I have right now is trying to figure out what, where and when. Finding a job is stressing the situation as well. I want to go back to school, but they are requiring pre-algebra and I'm sure it is necessary, but I would like to start working towards my degree as well. Maybe teaching is not the degree I need to go after? I just not sure. So I think really that is the issue. I want to use the things I love to make a living, but then I think about that in the long run and wonder how long will the world need an animal trainer or dog trainer, and does any one still read books, fiction.?
I know that I need to start journaling again. I haven't in almost two months at least not on a consistent basis and maybe that will help me. I talk to God constantly and know that He is there providing for me and my needs.
Have a God Filled Day!
Love, L
No comments:
Post a Comment