Dreams.... To Follow or Give Up

Some times it seems that I'm being given signs to keep believing that one day I'll have my dream, and then there are days when I think it is useless and just to give up. How do you know when it is time to let it go?? Is it a feeling? Are there definite signs??? Do I keep pushing? I'm not sure any more. I'm 47 years old and I think it is time that I redefine what is important to me. I love animals but I know that my husband does not share my enthusiasm for them. I love writing, but in the last few months I've had signs that maybe it is not to be... I finished my book Scattered Thoughts and I really would like to publish it. Even if I self-published it would be a goal that I accomplished this year. However, I know there are some things that would hurt people if I published it, and that is not something I want to do. Even though there are no names, of people directly it would make hard feelings and there are already enough of those I feel like some times. I don't know how many times in the last few months that I've been told I need to let go of the anger, and the funny thing is I'm not angry. I've been told I'm bitter. I don't see it... I've been told I'm depressed.. maybe. I've lost a lot of good friends since I quit corporate America. I don't have any close friends and I was even told that was because I push people away. Maybe? So when do you know to call it quits? When do you decide it is time to let those things go, and just try to make it in the world? Maybe it is time to go some place new and start over? Maybe I am a bitter angry person and that is why I can't see the things I need to see. I guess I'm just questioning things. I'm having a hard time staying focused on the present, because the future is so unsure. I just don't know....

Thursday, October 15 - Life Update

Okay so we are tired of the rain. One and half days of sunshine out of 14, 1 cloudy day... Not a great way to start off October. We are almost finished with the job in Canton. Hopefully we will have it finished by tomorrow. My website is under construction and I have found some wonderful Christian sites that allow you to be an affiliate and advertise the items they have to sale. It's commission, but I think I found a couple of really good sites that offer wonderful things. One of the biggest updates is that I have decided not to go with the literary agency that I have been talking and interacting with. It just doesn't' feel right. So I'm back to finding a publisher. However, I think, once my friend Amber is through with the edits, I'm just going to post it on my website for sale as an ebook. Okay that's it for the day or for right now. I'm up way earlier than I need to be... but need to work on website and stuff before my physical job.. Maybe this is why I'm so tired... May God Bless you all!

I was on a Mission

I left the house yesterday on a mission, a two part mission. The first part was to try to find a place to rent and although I found a couple of places, it was nothing affordable. The second part of my mission was to find a software program to allow me to publish my ebook and do other desktop publishing jobs. So here are the results of my mission. First was it successful? Yes, Did I accomplish what I set out to do? No, what I came home with was God lead. I came home with two books. One is a daily devotional reading which I needed. The second one was a book called God's Promises for your every need. God provides what we need when we need it. God provides for all that we need and I need to learn to trust that and hold one to the promises. I'm trying very hard to get rid of the dark harbored feelings I have towards some people and accept them for who they are. Will they do the same? God has to deal with them, not me. This is praying that everyone learns to lean more on God and not the world for our needs. I pray for a blessed and happy, healthy day for everyone. Love, L