Friday, November 20, 2009
Dreams.... To Follow or Give Up
Some times it seems that I'm being given signs to keep believing that one day I'll have my dream, and then there are days when I think it is useless and just to give up. How do you know when it is time to let it go?? Is it a feeling? Are there definite signs??? Do I keep pushing? I'm not sure any more. I'm 47 years old and I think it is time that I redefine what is important to me. I love animals but I know that my husband does not share my enthusiasm for them. I love writing, but in the last few months I've had signs that maybe it is not to be... I finished my book Scattered Thoughts and I really would like to publish it. Even if I self-published it would be a goal that I accomplished this year. However, I know there are some things that would hurt people if I published it, and that is not something I want to do. Even though there are no names, of people directly it would make hard feelings and there are already enough of those I feel like some times. I don't know how many times in the last few months that I've been told I need to let go of the anger, and the funny thing is I'm not angry. I've been told I'm bitter. I don't see it... I've been told I'm depressed.. maybe. I've lost a lot of good friends since I quit corporate America. I don't have any close friends and I was even told that was because I push people away. Maybe? So when do you know to call it quits? When do you decide it is time to let those things go, and just try to make it in the world? Maybe it is time to go some place new and start over? Maybe I am a bitter angry person and that is why I can't see the things I need to see. I guess I'm just questioning things. I'm having a hard time staying focused on the present, because the future is so unsure. I just don't know....
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Hi,
ReplyDeleteIt seems the age comes with some of those uncertain feelings. I am 46 and have been feeling the same way about my dreams... life, on and off for the past few years. I definitely can see how people become bitter and I do not want to be bitter ... and it sounds like you don't either. I feel my relationship with Jesus Christ is the only thing that has kept me sane ... and not making rash decisions on my feelings.
I am self employed also ... maybe there are also some issues struggling with that ... If I were you I'd would ask myself if you give up your dreams what will keep you going ... as for your book I would try to publish and ask for forgivenss later if anyone takes offense. It sounds like you are taking into account others feelings over your observation of their character ... if others have a problem with your perceptions in your writing and inject a personal slam than that is their problem not yours. I would just think of how happy I am going be when my book is published.
Thank you so much for your comment... One of my goals for this year is to become published... I still struggle with what people will think, but I am pushing forward. Thanks for reading... please stay tuned... You might like my other blogs as well.... http://livingbythewordofGod.blogspot.com, and http://madamescrawlersink.blogspot.com... May God Bless and Merry Christmas...
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