Monday, February 15, 2010
Life seems really distant these days. My dad went in to the hospital with pneumonia, and we lost him on February 8th. You never think about losing your parents, and the emotions that you go through until you do lose them. No one that still has their parents understands what you are going through, or what you feel. I know that my daddy is much better in heaven with Jesus, then in a bed in ICU struggling. I know that he is no longer in pain, but those he left behind are still experiencing pain and struggling with grief. I have my good days and then I have those that are bad. Sunday was such a day, and so is this afternoon. I want to hear him laugh. We will all survive and eventually it won't hurt as much as it does right now. I know that in my heart. My mom is very strong, and she calls to check on us girls. I guess you never stop being a parent, no matter how old your children are. You want to make the hurt go away. I do have many, many wonderful memories with my dad. We built a house together. We square danced together and I gave him a grand-daughter that thought of him as a dad. He walked me down the aisle at the age of 44 and gave permission for me to marry my husband. Then a little more than a year later, he walked my daughter down the aisle and I gave permission for her to marry her husband. Today, has been a little strange. I think about what has happened in the last six weeks and feel sometimes like time has been suspended and that things are not really what they seem to be, but then something happens and reality sinks in once more. One thing I know for sure, is that my daddy, our daddy, always believed in us and urged us to fulfill our dreams. He was always proud of us, and was never afraid to show us how much he loved us. There were plenty of hugs and kisses and tickles as we were growing up. I know my mom misses him and they had 51 years together, and one day we will all be together again. Love your parents, honor your parents, and tell them often how much they mean to you. You never know when time will run out and you lose that chance forever.