I guess the phrase “when one door closes another one opens” is true. However, sometimes we don’t always get confirmation that this is absolute. Sometimes we make decisions and never know if we made the right one at the right time. So I guess that sometimes we close those doors and can only hope another will open and immediate confirmation is not always there. I did however receive confirmation that I made the correct decision from about 14 months ago. After 23 years, I left the relocation industry on a venture, that I hoped and prayed would be fruitful, and even though the venture was not, my decision was still correct.
The company I worked for was sold and I believe there have been two layoffs and insurance benefits have gone up and some people have had to take pay cuts to keep a job.
During the last 14 months, many doors or opportunities have been opened for me. I temporarily worked for a furniture store, a movie theater and I have been able to write articles for people. Many doors have also closed during those 14 months. I left behind the security of a monthly paycheck, health insurance, good friends, lost a home, gave up my dogs, and lost a sister in laws friendship. This wasn’t all because of the decision I made, but because of things that happened emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally during that time. I drifted to a place of darkness that I never want to visit again, but some days I feel myself drifting towards that well of darkness.
Just like doors, friends come and go in our lives. They arrive to fill a specific need and sometimes, are gone very soon, and sometimes are with us for our entire lives. God fills our lives with those people to take care of needs whether they are emotional, spiritual, mental or physical. Sometimes those particular friendships or relationships end on a good note or end horribly and make us wonder why on earth we ever met.
There are many regrets when it comes to friends. Some if those friends, I lost due to their death, some because of words said or written and some because we just lost touch with each other. My regrets come from not saying good bye, some from not saying, I’m sorry, I did mean that the way it sounded, and some I just didn’t get to say how much I loved them and how much I enjoyed having them as friends.
Just remember that doors and friends open and close, come and go, and we don’t always know when that will happen. Cherish your friendships, say you’re sorry when you need to or even if you don’t think you need too, be there for them when they need you because you may need them some day as well. Never dwell in the past, live in the present and look forward to the future and pray to God for the things you need, the blessing you have received, for loved ones, for those that are sick or in need of healing. It doesn’t matter what people think of you or say about you. It matters as to what is in your heart, and that God lives there and knows your soul. Life is stressful enough without trying to worry about what people might say, think or do. Live life to the fullest; love unconditionally; laugh often, cry it cleanses the soul, and don’t expect anything in return. God will see to all your needs. May you be Blessed to the fullest and may God shine through your soul.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
We fight the battle of good vs evil everyday. Some days we win and some days we lose. God is always there with us helping us to fight those battles and we walk away with scars that run very deep some times. I'm not talking evil as in villians, monsters, crooks, robbers and such. I'm talking about the battle within ourselves to do good instead of bad, to think good instead of bad, to love everyone and not have bad feelings towards others. Hate is a word I associate with bad or evil. I don't hate anyone, I don't love everyone like I should, like the bible dictates. I have a strong dislike for some people and it usually comes back to how I was treated by them or something that was done. I always try to forgive and forget. The forgiving part is not as hard as it used to be, but sometimes the forgetting part of what happened lingers endlessly. It's kind of like that darkness that sometimes tries to steal me from the world. I fear that one day the darkness will win and swallow me and I will cease to exist. Sometimes people cause you to have negative thoughts or cause emotions like hatred and anger to over take your thoughts, body and soul. I try to go to God when that starts to happen and sometimes, I just cry. Hate is something I have more towards myself than anyone else. I hate that I let myself get caught up in what other people think of me, my life. I hate the guilt I feel towards things that have happened in the past even though I've asked for God forgiveness, the forgetting doesn't stop. I hate that I let these thoughts and feelings sometimes take over my life. I hate that I don't trust people no matter what. I hate that I feel like I've let people down or failed them for one reason or another. I hate that I have let life harden my heart. I hate that I let my past interfere in my present and sometimes dictate the course of my future. I hate that I have no close friends and I hate that I let my anger and fear run them off. God will or has forgiven me, I just can't forgive myself or let the emotions go. May God bless you all. Love, L
Thursday, August 6, 2009
It seems I've been gone away on a long trip, and I am just now finding my way back. The month of July turned out different than I thought it would be, Thanks God. First, my daughter found my husband and I a rent house. It is quite affordable and as of 8/1/09 it was our place. We are still in the process of unpacking and sorting, sending a lot of stuff back to storage. I've been working for my husband since 7/7/09. I was quite scared that I wouldn't be able to handle the responsibilities and the work, but have found that I am a lot stronger than I thought. If you don't know, my husband and his brother James, do exterior remodeling and vinyl siding installation and repair as well as metal carports, decks, patio covers, and roofs, replacement windows and the list goes on. We just finished a six week job in Eustace which is at Mabank and Gun Barrel. The deck turned out awesome and I will add a picture on my blog. With me working for my husband, we have been able to catch up on a lot of our finances and been able to move. I'm not sure what finally convinced my husband that I could work with him, but I love it and so does he I think. Also, I've been contacted by the editor of an online newspaper that is local about doing some writing. No pay, but lots of exposure. Once we get settled and I get organized, I will begin posting at least once a week to my blogs. Please keep reading and letting our mutual friends know about my blogs. May God Bless you All.